For those of you who don't know, my Grandma has been married five times. Yes, FIVE. Needless to say, at 85, she has some funny views on relationships. Here is a sampling:
"I agree with you, cohabitation is a great idea!" (Mom was horrified!)
Me: "No, he isn't my boyfriend. We haven't had the talk."
Grandma: "What talk?!"
Me: "The define the relationship talk"
Grandma: "Oh, I never had one of those. Maybe I should have... I just married them"
"I bet he likes your hair down better"
"Yeah, he wasn't the one. He drove a 2000 car, it should be at least a 2004 or 2005"
"Oh, you are seeing someone! This is the best birthday ever!"
And the best,
"Did you get that newspaper article I sent you (on online dating)? That girl from Linden landed a husband and she wasn't much of a looker"