One of my peeps has worked in OBGYN for many, many years. Luckily for me she is pretty tight lipped. I am easily grossed out by even a light-hearted reference to genital warts. Bleck! Anyway, my peep told me that the latest trend in teenage girls is to soak tampons in alcohol and then insert them. Apparently, the mucus membrane absorbs the alcohol and they get “drunk” without ever swallowing any alcohol.
There are many things that crossed my mind when I heard this story, but the overwhelming theme was, “SICK!” I’m so glad I am over 21 and satisfied with consuming alcohol the old fashioned way – down the hatch! After a little google search I learned that this practice has been around since the 90’s and can be adapted to work for men as well. SICK! Yet another thing I did not want to know!
So what does this have to do with dating? Thankfully not much where I am concerned. However, I realized this weekend that I really do prefer to frame my worldview with a Pollyanna mindset and to live with a simplistic view of otherwise complex social problems.
For the past few weeks I have been seeing a guy named Sean. Sean is here in the US legally, but is not originally from the US. His English is a bit rocky, which I think has ended up being good for our relationship. It is hard to end up in fights with someone with whom the conversation usually ends shortly after, “How was your day?” I have met several of Sean’s friends. They are all nice guys and run a successful business together. A couple of the guys are “on the market” so I have been trying to think of friends to set them up with.
Over lunch this weekend, Sean expressed some concerns about the fate of his immigration status. He lamented that he might have to go the way of some of his friends. I gave him a quizzical look. He explained that his friend, Mark, who is looking for a girlfriend here in Minneapolis, is actually legally married to some girl he met once in Tennessee. Apparently it is easier to pay a girl a few grand to legally become married to you than it is to go back to school or get a green card in order to stay in the country. Sean suggested that he might know a girl in North Carolina.
Should I be mad? Why doesn’t he want me to be his fake green-card wife? I’m unemployed! I could use the cash! And, at least we would live in the same state! If he “marries” her does that mean he never wants to get legitimately married for love? My brother said I should be glad he doesn’t want me to be his fake wife. It means he really likes me and respects me. I’m not sure. I was only left with the resounding notion that ignorance is bliss.