Monday, March 14, 2011

Bad Date Monday

Wow, Monday again!

This week's installment will chronicle a date I went on while living in Chicago. A friend decided that I had to meet a volunteer at her work. We had so much in common! And we were both sarcastic! Soulmates!

So this kid and I decided on a weekend lunch. He INSISTS on picking me up and driving me to a secret lunch location... ok, whatever. So I am waiting outside my building when a crappy Saturn Wagon pulls up. I am like "this can't be my date, but alas, yes it was. SATURN WAGON! So I think "ok, don't be petty, city driving is hard on a car... plus, just go for the free lunch"

SO we get in the car and he says he wants to go to this super fab place in his neighborhood (Andersonville). So we drive the 4 miles back up there (which takes like 30 mins) and we go to Ann Sather. Ok, I love Ann Sather but you could have told me and I could have directed you to ONE of TWO in my neighborhood. Seriously, this would have saved so much time!

So we order lunch and make awkward small talk. Did I mention he is wearing an old man cardigan? And is not a skinny dude? And he works in a GUN SHOP? Also, he seemed to like weird things and had a weird sense of humor (i.e. NOT FUNNY). Once again, we have nothing of real substance to talk about.

So the bill comes and he takes it (yes!) and then says "your total comes to $x.xx" Uh, you're shitting me, right? If I am going to pay half, I could've at least had some say in where we ate! This sandwich wasn't even good!

So now we have to embark on the 30 minutes 4-mile drive BACK to my house. (Once again, why did you want to pick me up?!). Here is where the real kicker in the "we are not meant to be" mental checklist. He proceeds to SMOKE A PIPE. Now, I am all for the free use of tobacco but A PIPE?! Are you a Grandpa? Or Frosty the Snowman? Sherlock Holmes perhaps? WTF! What 20-something takes up pipe smoking?

You know it has been bad when taking the #36 Broadway bus full of crazies (seriously, if you have ever ridden this line, you know what I am talking about) seemed like a better idea at this point than having to spend any more time with Mr. Rogers!

Hey, hot stuff!


  1. I am crying with tears of laughter. I remember this! Pipe smoking in a Saturn takes the cake!

  2. apparently i'm special ed when it comes to identifying myself on this blog. that was me.