Sh*T My Grandma Says

For those of you who don't know, my Grandma has been married five times. Yes, FIVE. Needless to say, at 85, she has some funny views on relationships. Here is a sampling:

"I agree with you, cohabitation is a great idea!" (Mom was horrified!)

Me: "No, he isn't my boyfriend. We haven't had the talk."
Grandma: "What talk?!"
Me: "The define the relationship talk"
Grandma: "Oh, I never had one of those. Maybe I should have... I just married them"

"I bet he likes your hair down better"

"Yeah, he wasn't the one. He drove a 2000 car, it should be at least a 2004 or 2005"

"Oh, you are seeing someone! This is the best birthday ever!"

And the best,

"Did you get that newspaper article I sent you (on online dating)? That girl from Linden landed a husband and she wasn't much of a looker"