Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Thirty-six dates and counting...

Consistent with what Beth said yesterday, if you are over the age of 25 and single, at some point, a well-intentioned but completely daft family member, colleague or acquaintance will ask you if you have tried internet dating. At least now it is socially acceptable compared to a few years ago when it was only for IT professionals, people with bad acne and sex-maniacs. When I turned 30, I thought I had better start trying internet dating so that when people asked, I could say, “Yes, I tried that and I’m still single. And don’t you feel stupid for asking?”

After perusing the options, I chose eharmony. I picked this over Match because I am lazy, didn’t want to have to “wink” at people and because I was looking for something more substantial than a hook-up. I chose eharmony over the free sites because I am high-maintenance and like expensive things. I figured if the guy had disposable income to invest in a dating site, then he was probably employed and not a total cheap-ass.

Let’s just say things didn’t work out with me and the guys on eharm. I tried to have an open mind… 36 dates worth of open mind, but I didn’t meet anyone I had an interest in seeing again. Was this because I was matched with people with whom I had too much in common? Was this because I wasn’t over my ex so any attempt to move on was doomed from the get-go? Or was this because 89% of the guys were dorks? I’m going to go with all of the above along with the fact that I am just plain picky.

I went out with “Fred” who I swear was the love child between Charlie Brown and Debbie Downer. When I asked about his job, he replied that he had just been fired the previous day. When I asked about his family, he told me all about his teenage cousin who was losing the battle to cancer. When I asked about his weekend plans he said he worked a part-time job stocking shelves in some dingy warehouse basement. I thought he was trying to get rid of me, but he genuinely expressed interest in seeing me again. In the midst of his fourth or fifth story that made The Diary of Anne Frank look like “lite reading”, I ordered a second martini and decided I would just talk about myself until it was time to go.

I did meet a lot of really nice, great guys on eharmony. There were plenty of quality men that I would love to have as friends. However, as my brother so eloquently put it, “Nobody on eharmony wants to be your friend!” And he was right.

1 comment:

  1. Love it. So true, so funny. "I ordered a second martini and decided I would just talk about myself until it was time to go"...genius!!!