What NOT to tell your pharmacist

I was standing in line at the pharmacy at Walgreens this summer when I saw a little old man shuffle up to the counter. An attractive young guy behind the counter smiled at the man and said, "Hi Gerald! How are you doing today? Have you been feeling better? What can I do for you?" I thought it was sweet that he clearly cared for the old man and was able to engage him in an authentic way. I peaked at the name tag on his lab coat - EDWARD. Oh, Edward. Maybe I will re-read the Twilight series and picture you instead of nappy Robert Pattenson.

It has been months since I first noticed Edward. Every time I go to Walgreens I walk past the pharmacy to try to catch a glimpse of him. This week I have been struggling with some health problems. My various doctors have changed my medication three times just in the past few days. As a result, I've been to the Walgreens pharmacy almost every day this week. I look like death warmed over, but I've been able to sneak little smiles at Edward here and there. Tonight, he was working the cash register when I went up to the counter. He said, "I feel like I've seen you here every day this week." I said, "you have, my doctors keep changing my medicine because they aren't quite sure what the problem is yet." He said, "Well let's see if your prescriptions are ready, Sarah. See - I even know your name!" I said, "Well, it is nice to meet you Edward." He smiled and pulled my bag out of the bin. He said, "It looks like your... er... cream (Just say it Edward - it's ANAL CREAM!) isn't ready yet, but I have the valium here for you." I said, "no problem. I don't really want that scary cream anyway, so I can wait until tomorrow to pick it up. Valium seems to solve most of my problems anyway." Edward laughed a bit nervously and rang up my transaction. I decided at that moment, I wanted to crawl in a hole and rot, at least until April. I've been crushing on this guy for six months and the first time he talks to me he has to see that I am picking up cream for my butt?! And then I try to make it better my letting him know I'm crazy and take valium?!

Wow... and I wonder why I struggle sometimes!