Friday, December 16, 2011

It's the most loneliest time of the year...

The holiday season can be a lonely time for us singles.  You would think I would be USED to it after a streak of 29 consecutive Christmas' alone, but no.  I mean, who doesn't want to get drunk on egg nog and get naked under a Christmas tree with your significant other?!  (ok, I might be alone on this one)  I didn't even put up a Christmas tree this year because I knew no one would see it.. and that was depressing.  Also, because I hadn't taken the ol' happy pills in awhile.. but I found them so I will now focus on the positives of being utterly alone on the day of Christ's birth:
  • I don't have to look good for anyone on Christmas morning... I can open presents without a bra or makeup on.  (this is also a plus to having micro boobs, they aren't going anywhere) woot.  I mean, theoretically, I could still do this with a boyfriend but I would like to keep up airs of being classy... until at least Valentine's day. 
  • I save a few hundred bucks by not having to buy a special present.  Seriously, since my relationships are short lived train wrecks, I don't even know how to go about giving things to the significant other population appropriate for wrapping and placing under a tree.  I am too chubby to fulfill anyone's "sexy" fantasy so a certificate for something sexually related is out and I am sure any 30 year old man already has a watch and/or cologne... phew, pressure is off for another year! 
  • I don't have to suffer through someone else's awkward holiday, church and/or present routine.  I mean, holidays with your own family are odd enough, let's not throw a pervy uncle, small children or a traditional Catholic service into the mix.  Another bonus is no office parties! 
  • You can make out with whoever you want on New Years Eve!  (or not find anyone to kiss and feel like a horrible loser).  We'll see how this pans out this year. 

Happy Holidays!

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