Sunday, May 1, 2011

Eharm date #24 and his dog, Snickers

Hey friends - Please accept my apologies for not posting sooner. I didn’t have anything particular entertaining to say and didn’t want to bore you with uncreative complaining. Sean is long gone. The chronic rain and dreary, cold weather has left me with little energy to meet new people.

Last night I ventured across the street to my favorite dive, Mortimer’s, for my friend, Jackie’s birthday. I was enjoying a fiercely competitive round of Big Buck Safari with my brother when I noticed a familiar face across the room. It was Brett… eharmony date #24. The date with Brett wasn’t nightmare; it was just horribly boring. Brett is obsessed with his dog, Snickers. He showed me pictures of Snickers, he told stories about Snickers and bragged that Snickers was the most popular and well-known dog in Minneapolis. He literally talked about Snickers for an hour. I couldn’t care less about Snickers. I also had no interest in dating someone who talked about their dog at the same rate new grandmothers talk about their grandkids. I also knew that Brett was not fabulous enough for me to waste so much as five minutes competing against Snickers for his attention and affection. So that was the end of Brett… until today.

I grabbed the birthday girl, Jackie, and whispered to her about my eharmony past and gestured toward Brett who was doing some fancy footwork while playing Lord of the Rings pinball. This is where it got interesting…

Jackie marched on over to Brett and said, “Brett! Great to see you again! How have you been? I’m Jackie, remember? We met here about a month or so ago…” Brett looked a little skeptical until Jackie said, “We talked all about your dog. You showed me pictures…” Brett said, “Oh yeah! Now I remember. How are you??” Jackie said, “I’m doing well. And if I remember correctly, you promised to buy me a birthday drink the next time we met.” Brett obliged and Jackie continued to inquire about Snickers. I could not believe that Jackie had the audacity to pull it off!

A while later, Jackie returned, drink in hand and I finally beat my brother at Big Buck. It was a fun night.

Jackie – you’re awesome. Happy Birthday!

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