Thursday, May 12, 2011

A rare moment of optimism

So, I am in a horrible mood today. I don't like my new job. I hate not having a dishwasher. I am still single. But... I have decided to blog about the positive aspects of sleeping alone night after night.

  1. I can do whatever I want. I don't have to clear any spending, odd dinner choices or random trips to Target by anyone. The cat doesn't care if I eat cereal for dinner... 3 nights in a row! However, she also doesn't get excited about my coupon scores... that would be nice to relay to someone.

  2. I don't have to "keep up appearances" for anyone. I mean, I still put on makeup and shower and such since I have to come to my suck hole job every day but I am sure no one would notice if I didn't. Hell, a coworker wore a ball cap and flip flops yesterday. Plus, if I have to "step it up a notch" (ie shave or something), I know well in advance. I have no random booty calls in my life who just might stumble over unexpectedly. I can put on fat pants at 6pm EVERYDAY!

  3. I don't have to worry about any one else's life choices... whether it be their job, where they are at 2am or whether or not they have clean underwear for tomorrow. THAT is a relief.

  4. I don't have a mother-in-law. From the sounds of most, that can be a very good thing. One less person to ask when I am having babies. (ok, no one asks me this since I think they can detect the single on me)

  5. I don't have to buy expensive gifts for every birthday, holiday or made up holiday (Sweetest Day?! come on!). I have probably saved thousands from being alone!

  6. I don't have to split holidays with anyone else's annoying family. (downside: no extra gifts/desserts).

  7. I can toss and turn and drool on both pillows. Have I mentioned I am the least sexy sleeper EVER?!

So there you have it, my attempt at seeing the glass half full. I could use a glass half full of vodka right about now!

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