Monday, May 23, 2011

That dreaded time of year...

So, despite the insistent rain day after day (it isn't supposed to be May showers!), the calendar is barreling toward that dreaded season... WEDDING SEASON! Amongst all the bliss for the soon-to-be couples, single girls everywhere are already thinking "oh, shit. Who will be my plus 1?!"

I had the freakout sometime around 5am on Saturday morning (after my all night Glee fest... which in and of itself explains being single...) that I have two weddings to attend this year! And no prospects for dates! See, I wasn't always in this predicament... I was in some weddings, I went to many with my parents, there were a few where the glorified booty call was used as a date and I have dragged my 'mo best friend to more than a few social occasions.. but alas, those options have dried up.

Wedding one is a civil union celebration. Yes, even CPD is getting hitched! I mean, I would love to bring someone along to witness me drink from a jug of Carlo Rossi and pass out on the couch without pants (reliving the going away party circa 2004)... but I can go it alone, if need be.

The other, however, is a real in a church, followed by a reception hall affair. SHIT! I might be that awkward single who throws off the table count (although I can eat for two, if that makes it better..). What are my options!? I seriously know like 1 single dude... and a drunken hookup does not a date make. No one likes that crazy girl. Other options: 1) post an ad on Craigslist. Not my first choice, I watched that Craigslist killer movie on Lifetime 2) Take someone else's husband (I know plenty of these!). This is no fun. I want at least the option of getting some (Hi, Mom!) and I ain't no homewrecker. Nor am I attracted to anyone's husband (just so that is clear...) 3) Take a girl friend. Just not the same... 4) Go alone. This will probably be the winner. Ugh.

Now, don't get me wrong, weddings are joyous occasions where two people pledge their love for each other and vow to be together forever and I am not trying to sound bitter. Ok, I am a little bitter but mostly I just hate going it alone.
And now, some words of encouragement:

1 comment:

  1. I hate wedding season sans date too. You forgot option #5 - skip the wedding. Stay home and watch the Tigers game instead. Equally depressing, but less humiliating.