What happens on Mackinac...

This past weekend I traveled to see Cara and Carlos on Mackinac. It happened to work out that I could leave work early on Friday and didn't have other plans.. woot woot. I should also mention that the Republican Conference was also happening this weekend so the island was filled with 1700 old dudes in navy blazers and young douchers. So, as usual, we kept it classy by bar hopping on Friday night which led to late night food ordering at Sea Biscuit which led me to talking to a man-child Republican outside and then making out with him on the street. CLASSY MOVE, RANSOM! Yep, he was 20 years old but said I was "cute" which is now an acceptable compliment. I used to have higher standards but those have gone out the window. He wanted my number so we could "hang out" the next day. Seriously, oh smooth one, I am pretty sure despite our age difference, that I know what "hanging out" implies and I am going to leave this as randomness on Main Street. So, I got on my bike and rode home... to eat a grilled cheese. Gah, he isn't even legal to drink in this country! Well, at least it enforced that I have no desire to be a cougar.

In other news, I got a match.com email from a guy that said "Your Profile is funny. Based on your description (reference blog on "reasons why I would be an awesome girlfriend" because that essentially is my profile) we could be bros"

Yes, I am funny. Thank you for noticing! However, I don't think I want to be "bros"! I am not even sure I want to hang out with anyone who uses the word "bros" BLECH.

In the "weird dreams that confirm I am messed up in the head" category, this week's winners are:

1. I had a dream that I married myself to be able to buy a house. It was some special loophole if I was married to be able to not pay a down payment or something. My mom got into it and we ordered a cake and had a tent and crap... then someone I don't talk to came and said I was "settling" and shouldn't go through with it. HA. This one was weirder than the one where I married Aileen.


2. Cut to me having a baby ALONE in a delivery room.

Seriously, the foreshadowing is not looking good. Apparently, I think I will be alone forever so I feel like I should be an adult by buying a house and having a kid, practicality be damned!

Spell check is your friend

Ok, had a match.com date last Friday. We met at a local coffee shop and talked for a bit and then walked around downtown Royal Oak. Details: 33, lives downtown RO, going to OU for an accounting degree, works in facility management at a GM plant, has a motorcycle, former auto mechanic. He was a nice guy, easy to talk to, not pretentious. He called me on Saturday to say he had a good time. Will definitely go out again after he finishes final exams.

On another note, I got an email on match from a guy I am pretty sure has contacted me before but now has a new profile name and some new photos (but still old ones up). Now here is where I get bitchy... his profile was full of misspellings and weird sentence structure. Also, his email spelled "favorite" wrong... twice... (actually, it was the same question in the subject line and body: "Do you have a favorit place up north?")

I didn't get the impression that he is an English as a second language candidate so I am not sure why his profile says things like this: "I looking for a sweet girl that knows how to care"

I know, I know... I am too picky and not everyone can be a good speller but CLICK THE SPELL CHECK button to keep it under wraps until after I meet you.

Off soapbox now.

This and That

GAH, where does the time go?! Sorry for neglecting you my fair readers!

So... what is new in the "super exciting" dating life of BBR?! Well, not much but I will recap some fun adventures that I have engaged in so I can say "see, I DO stuff!"

• J and I signed up for a Belle Isle clean up with REI a few weeks ago. We thought when it said "help weed some invasive species" we would be like raking flowerbeds or something. WRONG.... we spent 4 hours in 90 degree heat chopping/dragging honeysuckle out of a poison ivy infested patch. That shit is hard! Bonus: The REI guy was hot. Unbonus: Hot people intimidate me... especially skinny, fit looking ones. Plus, I am pretty sure he could call my bluff on liking the outdoors. Anyway, no dating prospects there but I counted it as exercise for the next 4 days though....


• Last Friday we intended the Ferndale Bar Crawl. We figured we could meet some people and drink for a cause (woo charity drinking). We discovered when we got there, however, that we were in the younger spectrum of attendees. WTF! Where do all these 40-50 year olds live?! Why are there no young, single people in a BAR CRAWL. I mean, the night wasn't a total loss... we got smashed, went to some new spots, met a lesbian couple and I got hit on by a married dude... the search continues.


• The cute waiter (ok, he used to be cute and now he has a full hipster beard) recognized me and gave me a high five at the Pig and Whiskey fest. I see him EVERYWHERE but it is nice to "know" people around town :)

Ok, I guess that list is shorter than I thought...

Oh, in online dating world, I have been corresponding with 3 dudes. I am supposed to meet one guy tomorrow for coffee and plans are in the works with another. They seem normal enough and ALL three live in Royal Oak so I don't have to travel far :)

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!

I am going to hell...

I was behind 2 people at Walgreens who were buying a home pregnancy test... while on their break from the KFC next door. That will turn out well.

Update

Ok, so people gave me flack for dismissing the first match.com date guy so easily... so I decided to heed to his invitations and go out again last night.

Sidenote: Did I mention that we had a conversation via text message about a boil he had to have lanced?! If you say "I didn't feel well this weekend" and I respond "Are you sick?" MAKE SOMETHING ELSE UP. Do not go into details. Thanks.

He picked me up (not my first choice since it leads to that awkward drop off sequence) and we headed to the new Star Lanes inside the new fancy theater in Royal Oak. He brought his rolling bowling ball bag with him. Now, I usually prefer dive bowling alleys but I wasn't paying so whatever. He, thankfully, didn't offer me any bowling advice and let me be happy with my 102 and 121 (and a third half-game in which I was kicking ass before time ran out).

We then sat down at this weird restaurant/bar also in this giant movie/bowling complex and had dinner. The menus were backlite with LED lights and need to be charged every night. odd. I resisted the urge to order a drink and stuck with water. Should have gone with my gut.

Then he wanted to go get ice cream. Fine, whatever. My butterscotch malt was delicious.

And now to forementioned drop off sequence. We get to my house and I am ready to bolt to the door to avoid that "please don't try to kiss me situation because I am not attracted to you." but he wants to walk me to my door... 2 feet away. Ugh. So I unlocked and opened the door and we made some small talk and we awkwardly stood there.. and then I just sort of said "thanks for bowling/dinner/ice cream. See you later!" PHEW, crisis averted. (I know, I am a horrible person)

So this morning I got a text message that said "Had a great time last night. I hope I can see you again soon (longer than one day but less than 2 weeks)." Initially I thought this meant he wanted to see me for some sort of overnight situation but I assume it is a time frame for date 3. Ugh, dreaded date 3.

Once again, he is a perfectly nice guy, I am just not attracted to him! Now I have to have that conversation. Ugh. I hate dating!

It has come to this...

A Somali guy opened a door for me at the ghetto mall, followed me into TJ Maxx and asked me out. I said, "no, thank you." The end.

Update

Well, I survived my first match.com date.

Since we were meeting downtown Ferndale, I decided to walk. However, it was warmer than I realized and arrived sweaty. Classic Beth right there.

We sat on the patio at Como's... a place notorious for expensive small portions and bad service. They did not disappoint! My eggplant parmesan was fine but not worth $14 :) After dinner we had some time so we walked to the Cupcake Station then headed to the Improv show. The comedy was good and they serve beer.

So, it was a nice time out. He is a nice guy but a bit dorky. He really likes to bowl (like has a wheeled bag likes to bowl) and is a bit socially awkward. However, he is extra chivalorous and pulled out my chair (which is makes me feel akward). Here is the kicker though - he lives at home (with his mom, blind step dad, guide dog and sister). Apparently he moved in with an ex and that didn't work out so he has been living at his parent's house.. I didn't get a sense that he was planning to move anytime soon. He works for the government as an engineer so I assuming money is not the issue.

Anyway, the conversations were fine, nothing too deep. I would hang out again but do not want to progress to any physical contact... and I suppose that is what people are ultimately looking for with online dating.

Ugh. I hate those akward conversations!