Unsolicited Advice

No one at my new job knows I am hopelessly single so I haven't gotten any random dating advice (yet) but that hasn't always been the case. Below I will showcase some of the "winners":

Big Red: "You like baseball, what about Comerica Park?"
Me: "What about Comerica Park?!"
Big Red: "Well, there are probably a lot of guys there, you could hang out down there"
Me (in my head): So you want me to just drive downtown on game days and HANG OUT by the ball park? That is the dumbest idea ever. I mean, I am not selling peanuts or homeless... would I just wander around trying to make eye contact with dudes?! It isn't like I can afford to get INTO the park weekly. No, I am good

"Have you tried online dating?!" (refer back to multiple posts on this unhelpful line)

Coworker: "I don't know any single guys except my husband's friend. He is a nice guy but drinks too much."
Me (in my head): a) Your husband is 60+ and I don't have a daddy complex. b) why would him being single overshadow the implied alcoholism. Again, not helpful.

"Well, I met my husband when I wasn't looking" Yes, I know this is the ideal situation. I am trying my best not to "be looking" but sometimes desperation takes over... and I still get no results.

Again, Have you tried online dating?! Seriously people, this isn't the Holy Grail of not being single.

"You need to out yourself out there more" You need to shut the hell up.

The thing about advice is that you, generally, do not give it unless asked. But, it makes for good blogging so I guess you can keep em coming.